Riverford - Organic Mince Pies (Authentic Bread Company)
"I could feel my day slipping away from me like the £6.25 I had spent on this box of dropped-looking turds"
Tesco's 6 Merry Mince Pies
"The filling felt like the taste equivalent of an asterix at the end of a word; easily unnoticed"
Crackd - The No-Egg Egg
"Perfect for scrambled egg stock photography"
Asteroid City (2023)
"If you thought this movie was anything deeper than a small puddle, then I have a bridge to sell you"
Meatless Farm - Chickenless Roast
"It just tasted of, according to my notes at the time, 'eating the wrong air', which I can only unfold to be that it felt like something was really not right"
Chado Tea Shop - Avo Toast & Istanbul No. 2 tea
"Looking like a small lost surfboard returning to shore along with the treasures and plantation of Atlantis placed atop"
Aga Hamami - Turkish Hammam
"After the initial scrub, cold water was thrown on me which felt amazingly renewing - possibly the only time I've enjoyed having cold water thrown on me without warning"
Arada Beyrut Cafe - Istanbul
"I had already lost my mind about the potential food combinations I could create. Cheese with honey? I am Greek royalty. Tomatoes dusted with exotic spices? I am a Mediterainnian millionaire. A doughnut with my coffee? I am an uncouth American. "
Marmite Breakfast Biscuits
"I'd never thought 'this is what they probably smell when they push open a sarcophagus' prior to opening these"
Pret - Pesto Salad
"Adding more grey to the flavour of grey"