in Cuisine - 01/03/2022
"Looking like one of King Midas' test touches, the Eti Gold bar hummed the air with a sense of false opulence not too dissimilar to the "look, we too can bump gums with the upper-class" products like Nescafe Gold and every other shit with 'gold' added to their line"
in Cuisine - 28/12/2021
"All of the marketing material on the walls lovingly stated how much your meal saves a planet’s worth of water by not watering cows or some shit, and how plant-based living is the best ever or something. I dunno, I didn’t properly read any of it"
in Cuisine - 05/05/2021
in Cuisine - 10/12/2020
"Along with the same ten Christmas songs on repeat and the burning cold of a misty London day, mince pies start their ascension from the depths of our collective memory to adorn every inch of prime retail-shelving estate"
in Cuisine - 31/07/2020
"The sensation I got was the same as tipping out the bulging contents of an airline sick bag into plastic bread and calling it lunch."
in Film - 19/02/2020
in Cuisine - 10/05/2018
"Nothing about this item fell within the parameters of a panini"
in Cuisine - 08/01/2018
"The black bean sauce that congealed the meaty bits tasted like a rubbery, battery-powered car accident"
in Gaming - 20/11/2017
"Super Mario Odyssey shows us why the often backward thinking folks at Nintendo are still the best game developers out there"
in Cuisine - 14/11/2017