All reviews

KFC – Original Recipe Stacker

A Review in Cuisine - 19/10/2016

2
KFC - Original Recipe Stacker £4.99 KFC Establishments After 20 grueling minutes at the gym where I pay through the nose to be in a sweat-heavy room breathing in other people’s maddening effluvia as they grunt and heave weights about thinking they’ll wake up in the morning looking like Jean Claude Van Damme in Kickboxer, I found myself to be in a slight dire need of sustenance. Luckily for the company that owns the chain of gyms, there’s a KFC just over the road. I push the disarmingly cheap ...
Starbucks – Pumpkin Spice Latte

A Review in Cuisine - 18/10/2016

"There are cheaper ways to get a rushing buzz to the head, but you'll probably end up in jail"
6
Starbucks - Pumpkin Spice Latte £3.25 (yeah...I know) Available seasonally in Starbucks It’s that time of the year when the western world comically commercialises the day of the dead by dressing up in bin bags, force sweets from old people, and murder one another as people clap thinking it’s a Halloween show. And with this cheap madness comes the not-at-all cheap Pumpkin Spice Latte from every writer’s favorite office space, Starbucks. Having my Twitter feed explode with everyone going mental...
Chupa Chups – Mini Candy Pizza

A Review in Cuisine - 25/09/2016

1
I love candy and I love pizza. So a pizza constructed out of candy should, in theory, blow my mind to fragments only for it reconstruct itself but within a new universe formed of nothing but ecstasy. Oh how wrong I was. The warhammer of disappointment swung high and heavy before crushing me out of existence, and so I find myself writing an entry to my site. The little pizza boxes stood out from the crowd of regular packaged sweets and candies hanging on the wall, but only to lure suckers like...
Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer

A Review in Technology - 15/07/2016

7
Dyson Supersonic Hair Dryer £299.99 Dyson.co.uk Can you imagine a world where deadly turbines are no longer easily accessible? A world where aviation fuel handlers won’t get sucked into jet engines when refueling, but instead pass straight through while quite often laughing with glee? Welcome to the future world of Dyson. [Dyson-Supersonic-Hair-Dryer2.jpg] I’ve already done a review on a hair dryer that purported to be ‘50% quieter’ than the next leading brand, when in fact it was 2% loude...
Colin The Caterpillar Cake

A Review in Cuisine - 11/07/2016

10
Colin the Caterpillar Cake £7 Marks & Spencer “*Winner of the first Arnold Review Perfect 10 score*” I’m not a religious man, but holy shit, if this isn’t the closest to Heaven on Earth there is, then I don’t know nor care what is. If you’re not six years old, or have been living under a rock or an oppressive regime for the past handful of decades, then let me introduce you to Marks and Spencer’s Colin the Caterpillar Cake; a slab of the sweetest sensory delight that human kind can never t...
Harry Morgan

A Review in Cuisine - 26/05/2016

1
Harry Morgan - Restaurant & Delicatessen St. John's Wood, London A bank holiday stroll down the delightfully average St. John’s Wood high street led me to set my heart upon the supposedly famous Harry Morgan restaurant upon falling for the siren cries of my hungry stomach. An American diner-styled eatery located towards the end of a really boring main street for a really boring part of London. I opened the door and set foot into the last days on Earth. If I were blind, I’d have thought that t...
Clown House

A Review in Gaming - 15/11/2015

1
Clown House by Aslan Game Studio Free Windows/Mac (Reviewed on Mac)   I decided to trawl through Steam’s free-to-play sewers to unearth a hidden horror gem and to hopefully find an a light in the dark to Konami’s madness by their cancelling of Silent Hills by the legendary partnership of Hideo Kojima and visionary Guillermo del Toro. Clown House is what I found, and it will haunt me to the end of my days…because I wasted 9 minutes playing and reviewing it. After half a second after seeing the...
Mug Shot

A Review in Cuisine - 05/11/2015

"It's like rehydrated powdered vomit, but not as nice"
1
Mug Shot by Symington's £0.60p All supermarkets, probably   After my awful time with Pot Noodle, I thought it not fair to tar every instant noodle dish with the same disgusting brush. So during a trip to my local Tesco’s, this particular Mug Shot burned deep into my retina with it’s orange packaging, surrounding itself in a haze sent from the gods above. Once home and using your standard modern cooking tools – a kettle – I ripped open the packet and was immediately punched in the face with th...
Primark – Men’s Slippers

A Review in Fashion - 26/10/2015

3
Primark – Men's fluffy slippers £4 Available in all Primark shops, probably Have you ever wanted to pad around your house with cats fastened to your feet but you’re too slow to catch those bastards? Well fret no more as for around a 10th the price of a catch alive cat trap, you can buy these Primark fluffy slippers – slippers that are designed for two things only: to keep your feet warm at home by being your indoor shoes, and to be completely forgettable when they’re on. These slippers get t...
Uncle Ben’s Rice Time (Sweet And Sour)

A Review in Cuisine - 05/10/2015

"Had it not been my apartment, I would’ve hurled that bowl of undying sorrow through a window"
1
Uncle Ben's Rice Time (Sweet and Sour) £1.85 Available in most supermarkets   I’m buying groceries like every gentleman does, weaving around the shoe-dragging knuckleheads in my local Tesco Express as if I’m filming an escape scene from The Walking Dead when something catches my attention. Brightly packaged and placed directly in my eye line sat a row of Uncle Ben’s Rice Time pots; ‘Sweet & Sour’ the label read. I grabbed it ham-fistedly and snaked my way to the cashier whom I suspected was d...